A powerful piece, Chris. I don't even think Americans have to go to Europe to find what you describe here. Just cross the border to Mexico. The U.S. is a profoundly alienating place. And, as you note, it's literally killing a not insignificant number of our fellow citizens.
'In that sense, Europe, outside of the overly visited but insignificant McEurope parts, is freer, and healthier than the US. **Most of the rest of the world is.**'
As an American walking the Camino, this being my first time outside the US, this gives me much to think about. I’m not sure I agree with everything you’re saying, but obviously my experience is limited. I quite like your point about the smaller cities though, since few cities on the Camino Frances are particularly famous. Yet so much of (northern) Spain so far seems either dead or only a generation away from being so, if the average age of the locals indeed is an indicator. The great landmarks, indeed the humble but beautiful parish churches are simply relics kept by an aging few. Likewise the countryside villages seem kept alive by the thinnest of margins. Some locales seemingly existing solely for the accommodation of “pilgrims”, who are mostly lost secular wanderers themselves. As a Catholic, I have not yet been able to understand the totality of these observations yet. I would love to write more about this subject when I’m done, but I thoroughly appreciate your perspective in the meantime. Thanks Chris.
I recommend walking the GR trails in France. They are far less traveled, more beautiful and pass through many small towns and some larger ones. Usually routed by ancient Romanesque churches or monastery sites. They converge on the Spanish border on the two major Camino routes. The Spanish section is stark by comparison. Going to mass in rural France usually requires a car. They keep small parishes open but rotate mass among them. We have met people who walk the GRs three weeks a year returning the next year to continue the route from their last stop. Eventually they get to Spain…
This is a great point, Jacob. I think what Chris calls "McEurope", and the values that underpin that, is the cause of all the downstream symptoms, such as ageing/dying communities.
I live in the east of Ireland but our town (to many metrics is doing great! growing population!) is merely being subsumed into the greater Dublin area and it's McEuropeanness. I am far from anti-capitalist -- capitalism and free markets have created untold good that we sometimes conveniently overlook -- but I do feel that untrammeled capitalism creates the vast inequality we see everywhere, which leads eventually to the ageing/dying communities you (and I) see in so many places.
I'm not well-traveled enough to protest your conclusions, but aren't you kind of making the same error assessing American culture as you suggest we're all making in our inaccurate assessment of European culture -- that is, relying too much on the homogenized big city experience and too little on the "real world" of small town life? I've got to believe there's still a strong sense of community in places where church picnics, high school band concerts, and summer softball leagues are still very much a part of the culture.
I am very well travelled in the US, including “small town” America. Yes, there are places with strong community but they are increasingly hard to find. What community exists decreases each year as a hyper individualistic culture is put on greater doses of steroids with technology, and now AI.
Many of the same observations Putnam made in his 2000 book, Bowling Alone, are even more pronounced today due to technology. Crime, diseases of despair, and massive economic inequality are in many ways more visible outside large American urban areas.
In the last month I had memorable conversations with three first time visitors to America; citizens from Afghanistan, China, and Nigeria. All three had spent time outside big US cities. They were surprised by what they saw, and not in a complimentary way. More poverty, fear, and closed mindedness than they expected. The antithesis of welcoming European cafe culture.
I'm 66. I grew up in the Chicago suburbs and my parents spent virtually every summer evening socializing with neighbors in one back yard or the other. My wife and I moved to another suburb 10 miles away in 1989, and we did the same. We had block parties. We knew the names of everyone on the block--the parents, the kids, sometimes even the grandparents. We went to baptism, First Communion, and graduation parties. All those events that you noted as evidence of a sense of community existed then. As the empty nesters our age have moved out over the past 10 years, families with kids moved in, but they seem utterly afraid of socializing. Several families now home school because they are afraid what their kids would be taught in local schools. Kids that attend local parochial schools don't make friends with the "publics." Many parents refuse to let their kids ride the bus to school, or wait to drive them a block home from the bus stop, in a bedroom community of 25,000 that was recently ranked the 4th safest in the entire country. It makes no sense to us.
Church picnics, band concerts and softball games are all events, with a start and finish time. In fact, each of them are popular within the city limits of my town.
But there are no cafe sidewalk gathering places here as described in his essay, except perhaps the tables outside of Starbucks where the high school kids hang out, and they'll be gone as soon as they graduate.
I live in rural Florida. I left for 15 years to travel and work (military), then came home to care for aging family. My little town has lost its little town feel. People here live in the internet, and they bring the big problems they interpret as being universal to the small town feel.
Somehow a new grocery store construction project that will cause homeowners to lose an access road is the president’s fault. The echo chambers and drama online has filtered into churches. My own father had to leave his church because the pastor was telling people who to vote for. Gatherings are fraught with national politics. On top of that, we are growing quickly and the locals feel like city slickers are coming to ‘ruin our culture and liberalize our children.’
All of the things you mentioned still exist, but the little towns are exclusionary to outsiders. Even though I’m from here, two of my five job interviews consisted of people asking who my family was in town… 😬
Chris, when you visit these French cafes in the small cities, are people who are there for more than an hour on their phones? How much has phone use and the “drug” of more that the smart phone offers penetrated this culture? I say this while writing the comment ….. from my phone!
When I spent the summer in a small French city in 2022, that was one of the most striking things I noticed. Overall, phone use was hugely lower than in the US, and phone use by children was almost zero. I almost almost felt like I had gone back in time.
Yeah. I should have included that in the piece. I did mention it in prior essays on France. Little phone use at the cafes. Especially compared to the US
I lived in France (Paris and Reunion) and speak French well. In my observation, phone use is at the minimum. I’ve seen tourists (Americans) asked to share tables/questioned/asked if they were leaving because they were sitting in cafes on their phones, during peak hours, taking up space. It’s quite a different scene.
I observe people talking to each and to their kids. I observe people reading books and writing in journals. Yes there are phones but if there's somebody to talk to that's the priority!
Chris, From a real estate standpoint, what can the US do to provide better physical spaces that are conducive to fostering the much needed community element of life that you describe ?
I've had the chance to travel in some smaller towns and cities in Europe, and what you say rings true. Over Christmas break I visited the Silver Coast in Portugal, and was staying in the town of Nazare (historically a fishing village but it has become both a summer destination and more recently an all-year-round destination due to the big wave surfing.) Many people were home for the holidays, and the town was busy despite being the comparatively low season. Around 6 pm you'd see full bars with people spilling onto the street enjoying a pre-dinner drink, and then the restaurants would be packed with people, many tables pushed together to accommodate big groups, presumably friends and family home for Christmas. In the mornings you'd see the coffee groups of seniors at the local cafes. My husband made the mistake of trying for a to-go coffee at one of them, and they didn't have any to-go cups (really unimaginable to Americans). I couldn't help but think of the American small-town equivalent of the seniors driving to the highway McDonalds or families enjoying holiday get togethers in their homes or even garages if the house is small (been to a few of those). Americans still find a way to socialize like you said, but maybe not as much or not without purpose I think about how my parents generation would just randomly drop in on people they know, and to my millennial sensibilities it seems rude--everything must be planned days if not weeks in advance. I think some Americans who long for more walkability oversell though just how much it would fix Americans' loneliness problems, since it's a symptom not a cause. The cause is cultural like you said. Sometimes I even wonder if my preferences for walkability are just me being a snob. I find car culture unaesthetic in pretty much every way.
A Rabbi taught that the Story of the Tower of Babel is about Empire or Globalism - the desire to make life one thing, even building that idea to god. But God rejected that and created the many languages to preserve his human creation. To me that is what you are saying. [I went to Cologne Cathedral when Mass was being said. I had been there as a tourist many times. The experience was transforming in how I experienced the space. I understood then why the cathedral was built!]
That's so true, and it's difficult to grasp how true it is if you haven't lived in both Europe and America. Your article focuses on one aspect -- the street cafes which can be found throughout France, The Low countries, Italy which set the pace of life, where people sit and read newspapers and watch the passers by.
Then there are the street markets, buzzing with life, even in small villages in Holland where people buy their fruit, vegetables, bread, cheese, in fact just about everything, or just wander through the markets, which have been held in the same streets for centuries. You know because it is still called "Marktplatz".
England is different now. Americanized back in the 70s with the arrival of the supermarkets ripping the heart out of many, not all, of the historic towns. And yes. We called it Americanization back then, as the fast food restaurants came into the shopping malls, and Megastores sprung up on the edge of town, driving the life out of the town centers. However it's not just Europe. This culture can be found everywhere from North Africa to Hong Kong. It's how life is lived all over the world. Except America. And I live in America now, and love it. It's just different. More space. More freedom. But the life of the old world I miss. And it's sad that it's not here.
I'm curious how much of this unhealthiness of America is a function of self-selection, i.e. people who came here had more agency than the ones who've stayed behind but on the other hand were more likely to have mental health issues etc.
For context, I come from Poland where (until recently) nearly everyone was ethnically Polish but which is also a country where the entire western side was only populated by Poles in the last 70 years. A portion of that population has been resettled there forcibly as they had to leave their hometowns in what is now Ukraine, Belarus and Lithuania but most people went there willingly, in a sort of American style ("Come to the West - the farmland is waiting" rings a bell?).
So even though it's one country inhabited by the same nation, now there are major differences in many social aspects between the west and especially the southeast where the population is the most settled. The west is more entrepreneurial, more secular, more industrialized and more innovative - but it also notes higher crime, higher obesity and alcoholism levels, less religiosity (could be good potentially) etc.
Self-selection over several generations? Previously North Americans were very social, it disappeared recently in terms of decades. The problem though is not individualism but the loss of religion. That leaves US society as an empty shell.
Churches pushed people out because they didn’t keep up with changes in social mores. I was Christian until I went to college, and then I started hearing from all the Christian bigots who shared my religion. And then I lost interest, never looked back. Found my community elsewhere.
Besides, your thesis is flawed. “Western” Europe is a lot more secular than the US, and community is easier to find. We’re talking about cafes here, not churches.
Keep insulting for free, idiot. I'm not a religious person anyway. And US is experiencing a loss of religion, Western Europe is past that for quite a long time. US is in the transition of losing it, and that's irreversible, hence the nihilism that everyone can see, except you probably.
I recently learned the term "urbanist" from Serendipity Lab here on Substack and it captured exactly what the difference is between Europe (populated by cities and urbanist culture) and the majority of the United States. So much of our disconnection in North America is cemented, literally, in how we have chosen to develop our communities.
Something to put things in perspective: the United States alone consumes around 25% of the resources in the world. From Scientific American, "With less than 5 percent of world population, the U.S. uses one-third of the world's paper, a quarter of the world's oil, 23 percent of the coal, 27 percent of the aluminum, and 19 percent of the copper."
330 million Americans consume roughly a quarter of global resources that should be shared proportionately among the 7 billion people on the planet. All that consumption, all that excess, all that relative wealth has not made Americans happier. In fact, it seems to have had the inverse effect of making Americans unhappier than everyone else.
I lived in 13 countries over 15 years and, in each one - from Denmark to France to Singapore - my favorite, and most consistent, pastime was sitting in cafes for hours. Alone but never lonely. 💕💯
That's been true for me almost everywhere except in Singapore (which I otherwise loved), I didn't find many good cafes. Any suggestions if I ever go back?
I lived in East Coast Park - right at the waterfront. The bicycle paths there connect to a myriad of cafes. Try the Siglap Canal neighborhood (where I lived).
In part this seems like the paradox of consumerism, our thirst for newer, better, faster THINGS is at the heart of our economy, and relative prosperity, but ultimately leaves us empty and without meaning.
To be sure there are a lot of other factors, like the rise of social media, but in one form or another a lot of them are driven by envy and status seeking built on materialism. The solution seems obvious, the chance of achieving it, bleak.
While chatting with one of my friends, she told me something very disturbing:
“My Belgian friend/former student seems too stressed out because of the teaching situation in Belgian and French colleges where teachers are getting killed by students.
It seems one Muslim male student told her that he doesn’t want to speak with a female teacher.”
“We have often discussed our work in the past on Zoom. It sounded many of her students are Muslim males as her college is a vocational type where they teach students computer science and other technology related subjects. Da Vinci polytechnic University, or something.
She wrote today that she is too scared to go to teach but continues.
She is just too stressed out for fear.
Good thing is that she has a husband, a freelance video translator, she said.“
“To be exact, I quote here what happened to her last week.
‘To tell you the truth, last week, I had a students who said in his exam “I would rather DIE than talk to a female.”’
Have any of you heard such things on your travels? My friend who lives in Sweden teaches many Muslims but says it’s not a problem there.
Muslims are not monolithic. Culture varies widely from one Muslim country to another. My husband is from North Africa where separation of the sexes, outside of the mosque, is less common. At the mosque he goes to men and women are accustomed to being in one another’s presence, except during worship. But for meals and other gatherings they mix. Then there was the family of a friend of my daughter. They were Ahmadiyaa Muslims from Pakistan. The family maintained two separate households-one for the men and one for the women. And, yes, I mean two completely separate houses. That is definitely on the more extreme end. That girl was very uncomfortable around boys because she was almost never around any. Her families mosque observes strict separation. My point being a lot depends on where your friend’s student’s family is from, and how the family observes cultural norms around separation of the sexes.
I am a Belgian living in Brussels. After Dubai, Brussels is the city with the highest percentage of residents born abroad (62%). So, yes it is very diverse and yes, this sometimes creates issues. But there is fact and there is fiction. Fact: in 2020 in Paris a teacher was killed by Muslim students. Fiction: teachers in Belgian and French colleges are killed by students. Fact: sometimes there are cultural issues of machoism with adolescent North-African males. Fiction: male muslim students wont talk to female teachers. Most of such issues are not related to religion or culture. They are social. Just like in the US.
What happened to her is not fiction. The generalisation of it is. Male machoism is an issue, especially with young North-Africans. I have encountered it time and again as the CEO of a food processing company in Brussels, employing a very diverse team of more than 30 nationalities. Some young North-African men refuse to accept the authority of their women team leaders. The problem is not with the women teachers or team leaders. It's with the youngsters not accepting their authority. The solution is for management to intervene and make sure that the authority of the women is irrefutable. Your friend shouldn't quit teaching; the school management team should do its job so that she can do hers with confidence.
Core values need not be sacrificed. A change in perspective is all it takes.
Have you ever heard of the concept of “third places” after the book “The Great Good Place” by Ray Oldenburg? You might enjoy it.
Great Good Place https://a.co/d/08d2VL1e
He literally mentioned 'third spaces' in his quoted message that appeared on Notes.
A powerful piece, Chris. I don't even think Americans have to go to Europe to find what you describe here. Just cross the border to Mexico. The U.S. is a profoundly alienating place. And, as you note, it's literally killing a not insignificant number of our fellow citizens.
'In that sense, Europe, outside of the overly visited but insignificant McEurope parts, is freer, and healthier than the US. **Most of the rest of the world is.**'
As an American walking the Camino, this being my first time outside the US, this gives me much to think about. I’m not sure I agree with everything you’re saying, but obviously my experience is limited. I quite like your point about the smaller cities though, since few cities on the Camino Frances are particularly famous. Yet so much of (northern) Spain so far seems either dead or only a generation away from being so, if the average age of the locals indeed is an indicator. The great landmarks, indeed the humble but beautiful parish churches are simply relics kept by an aging few. Likewise the countryside villages seem kept alive by the thinnest of margins. Some locales seemingly existing solely for the accommodation of “pilgrims”, who are mostly lost secular wanderers themselves. As a Catholic, I have not yet been able to understand the totality of these observations yet. I would love to write more about this subject when I’m done, but I thoroughly appreciate your perspective in the meantime. Thanks Chris.
I recommend walking the GR trails in France. They are far less traveled, more beautiful and pass through many small towns and some larger ones. Usually routed by ancient Romanesque churches or monastery sites. They converge on the Spanish border on the two major Camino routes. The Spanish section is stark by comparison. Going to mass in rural France usually requires a car. They keep small parishes open but rotate mass among them. We have met people who walk the GRs three weeks a year returning the next year to continue the route from their last stop. Eventually they get to Spain…
This is a great point, Jacob. I think what Chris calls "McEurope", and the values that underpin that, is the cause of all the downstream symptoms, such as ageing/dying communities.
I live in the east of Ireland but our town (to many metrics is doing great! growing population!) is merely being subsumed into the greater Dublin area and it's McEuropeanness. I am far from anti-capitalist -- capitalism and free markets have created untold good that we sometimes conveniently overlook -- but I do feel that untrammeled capitalism creates the vast inequality we see everywhere, which leads eventually to the ageing/dying communities you (and I) see in so many places.
Thanks for the thought-provoking thought.
I'm not well-traveled enough to protest your conclusions, but aren't you kind of making the same error assessing American culture as you suggest we're all making in our inaccurate assessment of European culture -- that is, relying too much on the homogenized big city experience and too little on the "real world" of small town life? I've got to believe there's still a strong sense of community in places where church picnics, high school band concerts, and summer softball leagues are still very much a part of the culture.
I am very well travelled in the US, including “small town” America. Yes, there are places with strong community but they are increasingly hard to find. What community exists decreases each year as a hyper individualistic culture is put on greater doses of steroids with technology, and now AI.
Many of the same observations Putnam made in his 2000 book, Bowling Alone, are even more pronounced today due to technology. Crime, diseases of despair, and massive economic inequality are in many ways more visible outside large American urban areas.
In the last month I had memorable conversations with three first time visitors to America; citizens from Afghanistan, China, and Nigeria. All three had spent time outside big US cities. They were surprised by what they saw, and not in a complimentary way. More poverty, fear, and closed mindedness than they expected. The antithesis of welcoming European cafe culture.
I'm 66. I grew up in the Chicago suburbs and my parents spent virtually every summer evening socializing with neighbors in one back yard or the other. My wife and I moved to another suburb 10 miles away in 1989, and we did the same. We had block parties. We knew the names of everyone on the block--the parents, the kids, sometimes even the grandparents. We went to baptism, First Communion, and graduation parties. All those events that you noted as evidence of a sense of community existed then. As the empty nesters our age have moved out over the past 10 years, families with kids moved in, but they seem utterly afraid of socializing. Several families now home school because they are afraid what their kids would be taught in local schools. Kids that attend local parochial schools don't make friends with the "publics." Many parents refuse to let their kids ride the bus to school, or wait to drive them a block home from the bus stop, in a bedroom community of 25,000 that was recently ranked the 4th safest in the entire country. It makes no sense to us.
Church picnics, band concerts and softball games are all events, with a start and finish time. In fact, each of them are popular within the city limits of my town.
But there are no cafe sidewalk gathering places here as described in his essay, except perhaps the tables outside of Starbucks where the high school kids hang out, and they'll be gone as soon as they graduate.
Chris literally wrote the book on small-town American life, though, right?
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dignity-Seeking-Respect-Back-America-ebook/dp/B079WNP94J/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
I live in rural Florida. I left for 15 years to travel and work (military), then came home to care for aging family. My little town has lost its little town feel. People here live in the internet, and they bring the big problems they interpret as being universal to the small town feel.
Somehow a new grocery store construction project that will cause homeowners to lose an access road is the president’s fault. The echo chambers and drama online has filtered into churches. My own father had to leave his church because the pastor was telling people who to vote for. Gatherings are fraught with national politics. On top of that, we are growing quickly and the locals feel like city slickers are coming to ‘ruin our culture and liberalize our children.’
All of the things you mentioned still exist, but the little towns are exclusionary to outsiders. Even though I’m from here, two of my five job interviews consisted of people asking who my family was in town… 😬
Chris, when you visit these French cafes in the small cities, are people who are there for more than an hour on their phones? How much has phone use and the “drug” of more that the smart phone offers penetrated this culture? I say this while writing the comment ….. from my phone!
When I spent the summer in a small French city in 2022, that was one of the most striking things I noticed. Overall, phone use was hugely lower than in the US, and phone use by children was almost zero. I almost almost felt like I had gone back in time.
Yeah. I should have included that in the piece. I did mention it in prior essays on France. Little phone use at the cafes. Especially compared to the US
I lived in France (Paris and Reunion) and speak French well. In my observation, phone use is at the minimum. I’ve seen tourists (Americans) asked to share tables/questioned/asked if they were leaving because they were sitting in cafes on their phones, during peak hours, taking up space. It’s quite a different scene.
I observe people talking to each and to their kids. I observe people reading books and writing in journals. Yes there are phones but if there's somebody to talk to that's the priority!
Chris, From a real estate standpoint, what can the US do to provide better physical spaces that are conducive to fostering the much needed community element of life that you describe ?
I think Chris’s point is that it’s our individualism that drives everything else.
Chris, you hit on so much that has been on my mind the past few weeks. So glad for your writing and traveling.
I've had the chance to travel in some smaller towns and cities in Europe, and what you say rings true. Over Christmas break I visited the Silver Coast in Portugal, and was staying in the town of Nazare (historically a fishing village but it has become both a summer destination and more recently an all-year-round destination due to the big wave surfing.) Many people were home for the holidays, and the town was busy despite being the comparatively low season. Around 6 pm you'd see full bars with people spilling onto the street enjoying a pre-dinner drink, and then the restaurants would be packed with people, many tables pushed together to accommodate big groups, presumably friends and family home for Christmas. In the mornings you'd see the coffee groups of seniors at the local cafes. My husband made the mistake of trying for a to-go coffee at one of them, and they didn't have any to-go cups (really unimaginable to Americans). I couldn't help but think of the American small-town equivalent of the seniors driving to the highway McDonalds or families enjoying holiday get togethers in their homes or even garages if the house is small (been to a few of those). Americans still find a way to socialize like you said, but maybe not as much or not without purpose I think about how my parents generation would just randomly drop in on people they know, and to my millennial sensibilities it seems rude--everything must be planned days if not weeks in advance. I think some Americans who long for more walkability oversell though just how much it would fix Americans' loneliness problems, since it's a symptom not a cause. The cause is cultural like you said. Sometimes I even wonder if my preferences for walkability are just me being a snob. I find car culture unaesthetic in pretty much every way.
A Rabbi taught that the Story of the Tower of Babel is about Empire or Globalism - the desire to make life one thing, even building that idea to god. But God rejected that and created the many languages to preserve his human creation. To me that is what you are saying. [I went to Cologne Cathedral when Mass was being said. I had been there as a tourist many times. The experience was transforming in how I experienced the space. I understood then why the cathedral was built!]
That's so true, and it's difficult to grasp how true it is if you haven't lived in both Europe and America. Your article focuses on one aspect -- the street cafes which can be found throughout France, The Low countries, Italy which set the pace of life, where people sit and read newspapers and watch the passers by.
Then there are the street markets, buzzing with life, even in small villages in Holland where people buy their fruit, vegetables, bread, cheese, in fact just about everything, or just wander through the markets, which have been held in the same streets for centuries. You know because it is still called "Marktplatz".
England is different now. Americanized back in the 70s with the arrival of the supermarkets ripping the heart out of many, not all, of the historic towns. And yes. We called it Americanization back then, as the fast food restaurants came into the shopping malls, and Megastores sprung up on the edge of town, driving the life out of the town centers. However it's not just Europe. This culture can be found everywhere from North Africa to Hong Kong. It's how life is lived all over the world. Except America. And I live in America now, and love it. It's just different. More space. More freedom. But the life of the old world I miss. And it's sad that it's not here.
I'm curious how much of this unhealthiness of America is a function of self-selection, i.e. people who came here had more agency than the ones who've stayed behind but on the other hand were more likely to have mental health issues etc.
For context, I come from Poland where (until recently) nearly everyone was ethnically Polish but which is also a country where the entire western side was only populated by Poles in the last 70 years. A portion of that population has been resettled there forcibly as they had to leave their hometowns in what is now Ukraine, Belarus and Lithuania but most people went there willingly, in a sort of American style ("Come to the West - the farmland is waiting" rings a bell?).
So even though it's one country inhabited by the same nation, now there are major differences in many social aspects between the west and especially the southeast where the population is the most settled. The west is more entrepreneurial, more secular, more industrialized and more innovative - but it also notes higher crime, higher obesity and alcoholism levels, less religiosity (could be good potentially) etc.
Self-selection over several generations? Previously North Americans were very social, it disappeared recently in terms of decades. The problem though is not individualism but the loss of religion. That leaves US society as an empty shell.
Keep pushing that agenda, Christofascist.
Churches pushed people out because they didn’t keep up with changes in social mores. I was Christian until I went to college, and then I started hearing from all the Christian bigots who shared my religion. And then I lost interest, never looked back. Found my community elsewhere.
Besides, your thesis is flawed. “Western” Europe is a lot more secular than the US, and community is easier to find. We’re talking about cafes here, not churches.
Keep insulting for free, idiot. I'm not a religious person anyway. And US is experiencing a loss of religion, Western Europe is past that for quite a long time. US is in the transition of losing it, and that's irreversible, hence the nihilism that everyone can see, except you probably.
I recently learned the term "urbanist" from Serendipity Lab here on Substack and it captured exactly what the difference is between Europe (populated by cities and urbanist culture) and the majority of the United States. So much of our disconnection in North America is cemented, literally, in how we have chosen to develop our communities.
Something to put things in perspective: the United States alone consumes around 25% of the resources in the world. From Scientific American, "With less than 5 percent of world population, the U.S. uses one-third of the world's paper, a quarter of the world's oil, 23 percent of the coal, 27 percent of the aluminum, and 19 percent of the copper."
330 million Americans consume roughly a quarter of global resources that should be shared proportionately among the 7 billion people on the planet. All that consumption, all that excess, all that relative wealth has not made Americans happier. In fact, it seems to have had the inverse effect of making Americans unhappier than everyone else.
I lived in 13 countries over 15 years and, in each one - from Denmark to France to Singapore - my favorite, and most consistent, pastime was sitting in cafes for hours. Alone but never lonely. 💕💯
That's been true for me almost everywhere except in Singapore (which I otherwise loved), I didn't find many good cafes. Any suggestions if I ever go back?
I lived in East Coast Park - right at the waterfront. The bicycle paths there connect to a myriad of cafes. Try the Siglap Canal neighborhood (where I lived).
Thanks!
In part this seems like the paradox of consumerism, our thirst for newer, better, faster THINGS is at the heart of our economy, and relative prosperity, but ultimately leaves us empty and without meaning.
To be sure there are a lot of other factors, like the rise of social media, but in one form or another a lot of them are driven by envy and status seeking built on materialism. The solution seems obvious, the chance of achieving it, bleak.
"driven by envy and status seeking built on materialism"
I would say, "materialism built on envy and status."
You overconsume, binge, etc. because you're empty, not the opposite.
While chatting with one of my friends, she told me something very disturbing:
“My Belgian friend/former student seems too stressed out because of the teaching situation in Belgian and French colleges where teachers are getting killed by students.
It seems one Muslim male student told her that he doesn’t want to speak with a female teacher.”
“We have often discussed our work in the past on Zoom. It sounded many of her students are Muslim males as her college is a vocational type where they teach students computer science and other technology related subjects. Da Vinci polytechnic University, or something.
She wrote today that she is too scared to go to teach but continues.
She is just too stressed out for fear.
Good thing is that she has a husband, a freelance video translator, she said.“
“To be exact, I quote here what happened to her last week.
‘To tell you the truth, last week, I had a students who said in his exam “I would rather DIE than talk to a female.”’
Have any of you heard such things on your travels? My friend who lives in Sweden teaches many Muslims but says it’s not a problem there.
Muslims are not monolithic. Culture varies widely from one Muslim country to another. My husband is from North Africa where separation of the sexes, outside of the mosque, is less common. At the mosque he goes to men and women are accustomed to being in one another’s presence, except during worship. But for meals and other gatherings they mix. Then there was the family of a friend of my daughter. They were Ahmadiyaa Muslims from Pakistan. The family maintained two separate households-one for the men and one for the women. And, yes, I mean two completely separate houses. That is definitely on the more extreme end. That girl was very uncomfortable around boys because she was almost never around any. Her families mosque observes strict separation. My point being a lot depends on where your friend’s student’s family is from, and how the family observes cultural norms around separation of the sexes.
I am a Belgian living in Brussels. After Dubai, Brussels is the city with the highest percentage of residents born abroad (62%). So, yes it is very diverse and yes, this sometimes creates issues. But there is fact and there is fiction. Fact: in 2020 in Paris a teacher was killed by Muslim students. Fiction: teachers in Belgian and French colleges are killed by students. Fact: sometimes there are cultural issues of machoism with adolescent North-African males. Fiction: male muslim students wont talk to female teachers. Most of such issues are not related to religion or culture. They are social. Just like in the US.
I’m curious why you say what the teacher experienced is fiction, when that has been happening to her and she wants to quit teaching because of it.
What happened to her is not fiction. The generalisation of it is. Male machoism is an issue, especially with young North-Africans. I have encountered it time and again as the CEO of a food processing company in Brussels, employing a very diverse team of more than 30 nationalities. Some young North-African men refuse to accept the authority of their women team leaders. The problem is not with the women teachers or team leaders. It's with the youngsters not accepting their authority. The solution is for management to intervene and make sure that the authority of the women is irrefutable. Your friend shouldn't quit teaching; the school management team should do its job so that she can do hers with confidence.